Mothers ruin...

I make it clear at the start of this blog that I am in no way promoting the use of alcohol. In fact it is the opposite as you will see... At all times i advocate the safe and responsible us of alcohol. Believe me I have seen the negative and devastating effects alcohol can have when used inappropriately.

This article is about the change in perception of nights out involving alcohol once you become a mother. It is yet another example of how everything in your life changes after the birth of your child.

That is all. It is certainly not a promotion of alcohol over indulgence.

It’s funny how before the baby, alcohol seemed to fit seamlessly into my life. It wasn’t something I thought about. It was just there, at functions, parties, nights out and even at home after a hard day at work.

Now however it  is entirely different. In order to enjoy a few glasses of wine it is necessary to employ military tactics. There is a lot of planning.

Finding a night suitable for a baby sitter, alone takes its time. Then there is the thought of what to drink? Nothing too strong (that just leads to embarrassment) and nothing too disgustingly cheap. Ill settle for a bottle of sparkly wine.

I have to admit this is not something I would have even considered before the baby. I would have gone for a very dry white wine chilled and possibly with ice cubes. Now I just don’t have the tolerance for that.

After a mere 9 months of not drinking, it is as though I've never drunk before. I feel like a 16 year old about to embark on their first house party armed with a bottle of cheap cider which could have been stolen from a tramp.  My days of drinking with sophistication are kaput.

Now should I drink anything above about 6% then one of two things happen:

The first is that I likely fall asleep. I kid you not. This can happen anywhere. Tiredness takes over and I'm gone. I know it happened a few weeks ago....in a bar....usually though that happens at home and isn’t too bad. At least you can laugh it off. At home you don’t even need to do that.

I can now fall asleep after only a few sips of wine. It’s like my body sees it as a cue to relax and I'm gone. 

This is the better of the options.

The second option is not necessarily one which is well remembered at least not by me. It usually involves falling over, shouting, hysterics and accusations. In short; its not pretty.

This normally happens in public to add to the humiliation... I mean what is the point of such histrionic dramatisation in the comfort of your own home? It is ugly. Very ugly.

It’s the kind of behaviour that means you have to make a lot of calls the following day (which with a stonker of a hangover is not pleasant) and offer profuse apologies and promises of never drinking again.  It really does take me back to being 16...

It’s not just the effects which seem to be different either. I swear that my ‘palate’ has changed. I can no longer stomach dry wine, instead preferring once shunned sweeter varieties. Red wine is just a no go.

This annoys me as it took a lot of wine swilling to build up a taste for different types of vino and now its just gone!  I'm not saying I used to be a connoisseur but at least I wasn’t tempted  into the alcopop aisle previously!

The sad truth is that like many things, drinking will never be the same as it was before. I cant imagine spending lots of money on a ‘big night out’ when I have nappies and baby clothes to buy. I can no longer handle hangovers which seem to linger for days and quite frankly don’t enjoy the prospect of looking like a mess.

That's not to say I'm becoming tee total.... I can still enjoy the odd glass of pinot (or some other sparkly alternative) just not like before....

Guess I'm getting old.... or growing up...